That theme is the idea, or rather, the lie that you have to change who you are to get a guy to like you. This atrocious lie is so common among teenage girls and it breaks my heart, makes me angry, and urges me to make a difference.
Let me be clear. You absolutely do not, under any circumstances, have to change who you are to get a guy to like you. Ever. No exceptions.
Now, do you want to know why?
If you change who you are to get a guy to like you, guess what? The real you is going to come out eventually. You can only lie for so long. It's exhausting, it's confusing, and it's going to mess with your self-esteem like crazy. And you know what, when the real you does come out, he might not have the same feelings for you. It will mess with his head, and it's not really fair to him. And that is not because the real you isn't worth liking. It is because he was attracted to the other personality or physical appearance that you changed into to get him to like you in the first place. And that could mean that you end up with a broken heart. Teenage guys are not into commitment. They are into what looks good to them right now, and that just makes it even more likely that they won't want to stick around if you are not being yourself.
Don't you want someone to love you for who you really are? Don't you want him to accept your flaws and love you anyway? Don't you want to be able to fully be yourself and know that he is going to stick around? If you wait for the guy who likes you for who you really are, you have a much better chance at having a real, genuine relationship. Believe it or not, there are guys out there who will be attracted to you. Wearing more makeup, different clothes, or acting a certain way is not going to guarantee a relationship, let alone a meaningful relationship.
Relationships cannot be successful without trust. It just doesn't work. Could you trust a guy if you found out he was lying about who he really is? The same thing goes for you. A guy is not going to trust you when he finds out that you changed who you are to be with him. A lie is a lie. And trust is not easy to build and it is even harder to repair when it's been broken. Why not start off being honest and build that trust up the right way?
Here is the thing ladies, I get it. I understand that when you look around it is easy to see other people in relationships and to want the same thing. I get that you see girls with a certain look, personality, or even hobbies, and they always seem to be in a great relationship. But you know what? The relationships that start with honesty are the best ones. When you are patient and wait for a guy who will love and accept you for who you are, it is so worth it.
There is no rush to be in a relationship. Take time to really figure out who you are, be solid in your beliefs, be excited about your passions and hobbies, be yourself. When you learn to love who you are, you will be able to have a much better relationship with a guy. Don't go changing everything about yourself for one guy. Honestly, it's not worth it. I promise you that.
You are unique. You are the only girl just like you. That is such an amazing thing! And there is a guy out there who will love and appreciate you. Why would you want to take away all the amazing little quirks and details that make you, you?
I know it's hard ladies and that some of you struggle every day with this. But please trust me and take that time to get to know who you are and be confident in who you are. It will be worth your time and eventually, when you are in a relationship, you will be glad that you waited and that you stayed true to who you are.
As always, if you want to talk, send me a message!
Until next time,