Today I am going to talk about a pretty hard topic: Getting over a guy, especially when that guy really hurt you. This can be so difficult ladies, I think that too many of us have been through this. I am remembering back to a time when I was really hurt by a guy that I really liked. And you know what? It sucked.
I had allowed myself to grow emotionally attached to this guy and he lead me to believe that we were going to be in a relationship. Then one day he decided that he was done with me and moved on. He told me that I wasn't good enough for him. In that moment, I wasn't sure how I was ever going to feel better again. He had hurt me and he damaged my self esteem in a huge way.
Now, one thing I want to make clear is that I do not think this guy is a horrible person. As an adult, I can look back and realize that he was a silly teenager, just like I was. He didn't really know how to handle relationships, and I wasn't ready for one.
Anyway, moving on from this guy was pretty difficult. I had to first realize that I was going to be fine with out him. Basically, I had to accept that I wasn't going to be with him and that it was okay. Here is the thing ladies, you will be okay. This guy may have seemed like the perfect one for you, but he wasn't. And I am sure that sometime down the road, when you are ready, there will be an amazing guy that wants to be in a relationship with you. See, as harsh as this might sound, there are other fish in the sea. And you have to learn to let go of the one you thought you were going to be with.
After you realize that he isn't the guy for you, things get a little bit more difficult. This is the part where you go through a process to repair your self esteem and move on with your life. I think the easiest way to start is by surrounding yourself with people who really love and care about you. For most of you girls, that is going to be your girlfriends. Let them come along side you and build you up. Laugh together, cry together, talk about how you are feeling. All that stuff doesn't seem like it helps right away, but trust me, it makes a huge difference in your healing process.
The next thing I want you to do is very specific. I want you to sit down, when you have tons of time to be thorough, and write out a list of all the things you like about yourself. I think it's best to do this with actual paper and pen, not on the computer. It may seem impossible at first because you are hurting, but give yourself time and allow yourself to be proud of who you are. The only rules are that you have to stay positive and you have to keep writing until you absolutely can't think of anything else. And then, once you are done, I want you to hang up the list in your room in a place where you can see it, and add to it.
It's okay to be proud of who you are. It's okay to be excited about the talents you have and the type of person you are. Focus on those things for a little while and it will help you feel a little better.
The third thing you need to do to move on from this guy, is to live your life. I know it sounds silly, but hear me out. Don't allow yourself to be gloomy and sit around for too long. Get up, get outside, and live your life. If you play sports, do that. If you like to sing or play an instrument, focus on that. Work hard in school and spend time with your friends. Just enjoy living. I promise that this will help.
Here is the thing ladies, ultimately, it will hurt for awhile. There isn't anything I can do to take that away. Believe me, I wish that I could. But you will get better. You will be able to move on. The key is just not allowing this guy to have any power over your life. Don't let him hurt you even more than he already did. Remember that you are beautiful, you are deserving, and you are worth it. Just because this guy couldn't see that, doesn't mean that it's not true.
As always, send me a message if you need to talk or if you have a topic you want me to write about.